Always look on the bright side of life!

Qué gran película La vida de Bryan. Hoy, durante mi procrastinación matutina por la red, he dado con el guión original de la película en inglés, así que no he podido resisitirme a la tentación de poner aquí la escena en la que huye de los romanos y trata de comprar en el bazar una barba para disfrazarse y pasar desapercibido. Para mí, una de esas ralas piezas de humor inteligente a la vez que absurdo:

Brian	How much?  Quick!
Merchnt What?
Brian	It's for the wife.
Merchnt Oh. Uh... Twenty shekels.
Brian	Right.
Merchnt What?
Brian	There you are.
Merchnt Wait a minute.
Brian	What?
Merchnt Well, we're, we're supposed to haggle.
Brian	No, no, I've got to get...
Merchnt What do you mean, no no no?
Brian	I haven't time, I've got ...
Merchnt Well give it back then.
Brian	No, no, no I paid you.
Merchnt Burt!
--------[A large man stands up behind Brian, blocking his way out.]
Burt	Yeah?
Merchnt This bloke won't haggle.
Burt	Won't haggle???
Brian	All right... do we have to?
--------[Burt disappears.]
Merchnt Now look. I want twenty for that.
Brian	I, I just gave you twenty.
Merchnt Now are you telling me that's not worth twenty shekels?
Brian	No.
Merchnt Look at it. Feel the quality, that's none of yer goat.
Brian	All right, I'll give you nineteen then.
Merchnt No, no, no. Come on. Do it properly.
Brian	What?
Merchnt Haggle properly.  This isn't worth nineteen.
Brian	But you just said it was worth twenty.
Merchnt Oh dear, oh dear. Come on. Haggle.
Brian	All right, I'll give you ten.
Merchnt That's more like it.
Ten!?  Are you trying to insult me?  Me?  With a poor dying
grandmother...Ten!?!
Brian	All right, I'll give you Eleven.
Merchnt Now you're getting it.	Eleven!?!  Did I hear you right?  Eleven?
This cost me twelve. You want to ruin me?
Brian	Seventeen.
Merchnt No, no, no, no. Seventeen!
Brian	Eighteen?
Merchnt No, no,.  You go to fourteen now.
Brian	All right, I'll give you fourteen.
Merchnt Fourteen, are you joking?
Brian	That's what you told me to say.
Merchnt Oh dear.
Brian	Oh Tell me what to say. Please.
Merchnt Offer me fourteen.
Brian	I'll give you fourteen.
Merchnt He's offering me fourteen for this!
Brian	Fifteen.
Merchnt Seventeen.  My last word.  I won't take a penny less, or strike me
dead.
Brian	Sixteen.
Merchnt Done. Nice to do business with you. Tell you what, I'll throw in
this as well.
[Hands Brian the Gourd.]
Brian	I don't want it, but thanks.
Merchnt Burt!
Burt	Yeah?
Brian	All right, all right, all right.
Merchnt Where's the sixteen you owe me?
Brian	I just gave you twenty.
Merchnt Oh yeah. That's right. That's four I owe you then.
Brian	No, it's all right, that's fine, that's fine.
Merchnt No, I've got it here somewhere.
Brian	It's all right, that's four for the gourd.
Merchnt Four for this gourd? Four!!!!  Look at it, that's worth ten if it's
worth a shekel.
Brian	But you just gave it to me for nothing.
Merchnt Yes, but it's worth ten.
Brian	All right, all right.
Merchnt No, no, no, no. It's not worth ten, You're supposed to argue. Ten for
that, you must be mad!